I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
