She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
