i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
