I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
