Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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