Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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