I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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