he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So apparently I’m into choking now
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize