I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
