Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
