You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
