Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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