we have pet lesbian snakes
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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