We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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