your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
