The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
