can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
