I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
