It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
