Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
