ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
