ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
