Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
