We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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