kristin has been a bad kristin
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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