chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
