Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
