So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
