I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
