he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
