And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
