hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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