I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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