And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
