What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize