Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am available for nakedness
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
