we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
