Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Floor bacon is actually really good
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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