and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
