kristin has been a bad kristin
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
