i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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