Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
why is half of my head shaved?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
