Whatcha textin bout Willis?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
