a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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