pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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