So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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