"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
