We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
