i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
