Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
that's an acceptable place to lick
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
