you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Your penis caused this!
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