Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
