I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
