You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
