I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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