yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I love you.
Bad choice
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize