KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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