conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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