If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
