I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
