Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize