I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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