If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
