he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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