i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
