Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
