The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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